


Inside the Mind of the Caged

by Pupa_Pan



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Thunder/Frost
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-03
Updated: 2013-06-04
Packaged: 2017-12-13 21:45:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/829213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pupa_Pan/pseuds/Pupa_Pan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki Laufeson has been captured, but as he waits for his unknown fate, he lays on the floor and relives the golden memories that he holds dear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Prologue

A drop from above fell upon my cheek. I sighed yet there was no sound. I cringed at the tightness of my metal mask and chains resisting my jaw from its natural up and down motions. My hands shifted uncomfortably against the cold unforgiving bonds as I drug them against the damp dark walls. My whole body sighed now as I let my feet sink along the wall; promptly sitting myself on the hard floor with a quiet leather snap. I placed my hands or rather my metal case atop my knees and curled into a ball. Closing my eyes to the darkness, listening to the droplets fall around me, with only my ever so quiet movements as a pleasant melody to soothe my nerves.

If I had any singe of feelings now, I’d cry. But where do I even begin. Last time I cried, it was for sentiment, should I try and imagine sentiment now? I cannot imagine sentiment, I do not even know sentiment.  
I am only contradictions.  
Oh how my eyes burn, and my chest aches. My thoughts are disheveled. I'm feverish, but not hot. Lost in fragments. I have all the ways of emotion but what do I feel?  
I am not afraid nor am I calm. Yet I feel as if swayed by sweetness. I breath out my nose to calm my pulsing heart.

One, Two, Three. Breath in again.  
All I can hark on is old words and memories, on how all of this began. Oh let me have my sweet thoughts again. A warm memory, should I even be allowed to have it? The night sky on earth, the warmth and loss of pain with- 

Gone again with the thought of where I am. My eyes open wide to my dark, wet chamber. I hear footsteps from a guard outside. Like someone making sure I'm feeling the punishment.  
Oh, I know perfectly well, what I did “wrong”. If there ever was a “right”. It seems perfectly natural now that I will never know this “right” that people so carelessly and easily flow into. This sense of right, Ha. Have I ever known it? Was it ever once in my heart as it lives in his?

All I know is I am this hideous monster given its rightful cage. I have never known a master, and all I've ever been shown is hate. But that's not true is it? Alas.  
I think now of my father, Odin. My father, that word without even a spec of what its meaning should be, with his impenetrable rage will surely thrust the most cruel of punishments upon me. I will be made an example and all for what.  
I was in a lie, everything I've ever known has been lies, even what little spec of kindness people of the court might have shown me in the past. All Ive been known for was for my ability to lie. Silver-tongued, I am called. As if that's my only talent. Never given a chance to strive like he was. Strife versus Strive, How else was I to end up in this state. Yet I am still considered the weak one always defeated in the shadow of his greatness, no matter how hard I try to fight everything and everyone, and have nowhere to turn, no words to share; I imagine him everywhere. I don't want to think of him. Oh, let me be free, his blonde hair and eyes like sapphire.

. . .

Should I just sleep the rest of my time alive?

What more is there for me to say? What more is there for me to do?

Will I even be given a chance to speak? I never was before.

And there it is. A drop not from the wall, but from my heart, cascading down my cheek. Leaving a salty streak for others to follow. I let out a puff of air into the metal now moistened by the warmth. Followed by another then another I couldn't control. If I can't stop this soon, I will be in uncontrollable sobs. My heart will not heal from this. Maybe its better if I am to die.

My crying continues getting softer and softer as it goes another. The dampness of the cage seeming to match my disgustingly salty tears. I hate this. I hate all of this. Let someone come so I can be given the hate I deserve. Tell me I am wrong, tell me I will die, just don't leave me like this.  
I finally control myself enough to stop. Unable to wipe away the moisture atop my cheek I lay on my side facing the wall away from the entrance. My eyes close again. I let out hot air from my nose and sleep.


	2. The First Memory

One

There are many times when you could say this all began. Childhood, teen years, the betrayal, even start with my time on earth. Maybe there are too many ways to start, and I should just never start at all. But alas I am here, and I do dwell on these pasts. So I'll begin briefly with my way to earth. I cant remember strongly what happened as I fell from Thor’s hands, besides being calm. And then nothingness. A dark voice, which I know now as the Chitari, creeping into my mind and telling me of all the things I’ve dreamed. Power, Glory, and the most hidden secret of mine Love. Not even the feeble minded hell bent army Chitari could find my real dreams. Not that I would ever let anyone know. I fight to not even let myself dream of these desires sometimes. Once I met this army, and we made our plan; I was under their spell. The Tesseract being an object of such magnitude made me its slave. Any hate or pain I felt before was greatly increased by that of over a thousand bilge snipes. Never heard of them? They are disgusting creatures, and believe me Im not going to lie about something so miniscule to my life.

What matters most however is my time on earth. It is why I am here, in this cell locked in metal bonds; and if I could hurt from cold, a pain most others feel, I would be feeling the harsh sting like the one in my heart.

So to really begin, lets start with my capture in Germany by the great Captain, Widow, and Man of Iron coming in swiftly to save eighty or so people who don't even matter. My plow for attention, maybe he’ll come to save his earthlings now. As I dug into the skull of a mans eye. A dramatic number not really necessary, but fun. To let off some steam, to ease my tension was all I really needed. However, once giving orders and telling the mortals of their hopeless “freedom” I was swiftly defeated and cornered at all sides. They bound me and hoisted me to their ship.

Whilst aboard their black sky ship, They try and get my attention. While I try and plan ahead. Captain likes to act like I have guilt, and Man of Iron likes to stare. I begin thinking of all the terrible things I could do to them. Stabbing, piercing, blood bursting, but then I heard him. 

BAM!

A crash of thunder and bright light outside. I sink into my chair before I can realize my motion.

The Captain calls to me, “Scared of a little lightening?”

“I'm not overly fond of what follows.” I state back, keeping my eyes fixed on the windshield. Given only a moment, a thud and slam atop the ship are bellowed into our small hollow cavity and as swiftly as the door to the sky ship open Thor has grabs me my the neck. Eyes locked for a moment, his fingers wrapped in my hair. If this moment wasn't so quick like he loves to make his decisions, I could say that this was more than just a capture mission. But I love to over think these things, but this is not why I'm going back to these moments now. So again, where was I? He grabbed me by the neck, fingers in my hair and shoots me with him into the crisp air out of the small ship and away from the ignorant mortals, without any fight at all.

While enjoying this brief moment of being in his arms, I open my eyes to be promptly slammed against the ground underneath him. He stays atop me as if to frighten me. I settle underneath his weight, his knees on both my sides.

We stare at each-other for what feels like hours. He backs off suddenly frustrated grumbling and stomping fiercely. I then realize the great amount of pain I'm in from impact. I sit up slowly, trying and failing to not to show any weakness or grimace; and we begin our hostile words. He begins like Odin would, blaming and screaming at all the "dreadful" things I've done. 

"You have any idea how long we mourned? What do you EVEN hope to accomplish?" Words I hear and just laugh and ignore. 

I can see the pain in his eyes as I gather myself up, yet I feed off of this. 

"Mourned? I doubt you mourned, you ODINson." I smile as he throws his hammer down.

"You should know, Odin, Our father-

"Your father." I stop him. 

Everything I continue to say getting him all the closer to true hurt, I want to see his tears. Those glorious tears, let me see you weak. He grabs me again after my final word, and slams me against the rock wall nearby. The pain shooting through my spine. Ah yes again he goes to physical confrontation; unable to handle our argument with words. Tell me beautiful words, Oh tell me of my fallacies.

And that's when it happened. As I caught my breath from the impact of the wall, he let me catch a moment of vulnerability with him. His eyes catching rays from the moon. A stand of hair in his eyes. Those saffires burning into my green, the tension making my heart ache. My mouth becomes a gap from pain and longing. 

He begins to release his hand off the scruff of my collar, brushing my chest with his fingers.

“You give up this poisonous dream,’ His deep voice aches eyes glued to mine as his fingers brush ‘You come home.”. He eyes bleed into me, like rowing thunder on a summer Midgard morning. I wanted to say, “Only with you”, but instead I say with fever “I have no home.”

He pauses if for a moment, Like he's thinking or catching breath from a sword through the throat.

Before I have time to throw another word, his face lunges towards mine. Getting ready for a painful impact I wince and shut my eyes. His hand moves from my chest to my hair and pulls me into an embrace. Our lips hard against each others. I open my eyes suddenly. His eyes shut, brows scowling. His lips so tender against mine, fingers interlacing through my black hair. I give way. Our lips completely eclipsed in each others. He deepens the kiss with his force pushing me hard against the wall.  
“Ahhh....Loki....” His deep voice echoes into my ears. It sets me a fire and our tongues begin to dance. "Where did you go?" He continued to mumble as our feverish dance becomes all the more engulfed the passion of our wanderlust. His hand tugging hard at my hair as I scratch onto the back of his neck with my nails; Taking advantage of his opening mouth with my piercing teeth. Before we realize it our wandering hands are searching underneath each others tunics and I can feel him hard against my leg.  
In the moonlight, in his pain. He realizes what crime being done. A crime I could live in; die for. And he gently stops our embrace, before exploding backwards. Don't let me go I plead, but only a nervous breath comes out. He turns away for a moment to catch himself, the obvious emotions circulating his mind. What have I done, What would father think, He walks himself towards the edge of hill. I follow slowly. 

His hand is on my cheek again as he turns and draws near, the friendly finger in my hair. His face so close to mine, Can I live in this moment?

I close my eyes to breath in his scent, He speaks, “You listen to me.” in his deep tone that rattles as it moves and hes ripped away. He’s gone. My eyes open to the now empty space. My body still feeling forced with his past pressure, and my lips swollen against the breeze.

The ignorant Man of Iron took him away and they fight like peasants on the ground below, taking down trees and shining bright rays of light to the sky. As I sit myself atop the hill holding my cheek.

My ear is still warm, and my face is hot. “Oh I'm listening brother.” I mewled and lay my aching body on the cold grass. The dampness soaked into my hair cooling the warmth of my skin. I grip tight to the grass and rips shreds. I gaze at the sky to clear my mind, but it only causes more agitation.  
I feel a sickness inside me growing. I am a child of naught. I cover my face and feel the now cold leather twinge against my hot skin and clear my thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, as always, thanks for reading!


	3. The Second Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He recounts the first time.

Two

I wake for a brief moment in my cage, only to find its the exact same as before. Guards changing stations with their ears perked. I shift my bonds uncomfortably and close my eyes again leaving the metal encasement, and going back to recall.

 

After many moments of still silence the mortals and Thor take me back to their sky ship. My alone time is over. Its back to playing the part of “bad guy”. Even so, gentle moments with Thor I so dream of. I stare at his his loss hair hot and wet face gleaming, him making those deep noises that only gods could dream of making, 'Yes, let me have it' I laugh. 'Let me rule these moments in my mind.'

My smile in its usual thin outstretched line across my face. Scaring all the little S.H.I.E.L.D. agents guarding me. I feel so pleased with myself on this ship. I spot a glance at the monster they brought aboard. Their Bruce Banner, I shall have to play with his mind, later, for sure. A monster in a tightly enclosed and poorly guarded ship. An arrogant Man of Iron, A man lost in time, a red-haired quim with the heart of a killer and so many minions to be destroyed. My plan for later is being so easily accomplished, given me so much extra time for this side plan with Thor. 

I was thrown into my glass cage, to be watched at all sides. A cage not made for me. They think they’re so clever. I will wait here and play their little game until my fleet arrives. Until then I can dream my dreams, and have my sweet succulent alone time. I begin to laugh, Fury staring me down with his threats. His desperation is thrilling. I have so many on a string in my puppet show on parade. So easy to control, to rule. Fury leaves with an offhand comment I ignore. I sit alone and wait for others to arrive, to challenge.

Camera one is facing my front, Camera two is facing my back. A 30,000 feet drop beneath my feet. Oh I'm trembling. So much useless technology, I sigh.

“Someone come entertain me”, I yawn to camera one. I can feel tension rising on the ship. Comments of my happy presence on the ship arising. The mortals getting more and more dissatisfied with each other. What a game.

The entrance opens to the deck where my chamber lies. And hair so familiarly blonde appears. His eyes as angry as ever.

Mmm this should be good. He presses hard at some levers before rushing forward. He released the door to my chamber quickly whilst stomping in haste, the door closes behind him before I can mumble any spells or even step forward. He drops his hammer and grabs my face.

“Why?! Why here brother?! Why all of this pain?!' He begins to shake me in his rage., 'You will not win, no one can win!” My eyes stay their usually irreverent emeralds of old. My smile staying in its proper place. I will not be broken. I will not falter. He begins to scream again, words pleading for me to stop this pain, stop this madness, come home, and words of warmth, of mourning. He stops, one of his hands on my shoulder, one on my neck. His eyes looking for an answer somehow hidden on my face. He slaps me suddenly catching me off guard, but still one hand holding on tightly to me.

“You think you can break me? You have arrogance brother” I retort looking away in the direction of the impact. “I've been too far, I have to much purpose-”

“What purpose,’ He interrupts, ‘could you have to with people you care not for. This isn't about earth, this isn't about power.”

“I mean to rule this world” I state fiercely, my face still stinging as I face him. I struggle a bit to remove his hold but he remains firm. A hold I cannot escape. I feel on the edge of tears but I control myself.

“Please.’ His eyes glazed like windows to my frosted birth world. “I cannot beg anymore than this, I have no words left to say, save for select words I shall not use. You are my brother-

“I am not your brother, I never was.” I state coldly. His pleading making him all the more beautiful every second. Let me break you. The eternal ocean of your eyes cascading ever inch of my being. I let out a harsh sigh and try to push him away again. His eyes fixed on the floor but a grip far stronger than mine. Look at me when I mean to vex you.

“Just leave brother. Leave like I’ve been left. In the shadow of your splendid glory. Hold tight to the thought of your arrogant beliefs, thinking I a happy sibling. I know not of this happiness you dream. A home of love? Hear you of the words you speak. You are but words. Empty threats of torment.”  
His grip begins to tighten his eyes slowly rising back to my face. I cannot stop this perpetuating affliction of harrows. I push against him more, fighting for power, but he pushes me back farther and farther.

I continue, “Why protect others who jest at beings like us. Our power far that of any others. You are only strong in only one way, Thor. Your heart is as weak as your mind. I could laugh at what you’ll look like king, Ha ruler of Asgard.”

Step one, Step two, Wall. His force, his eyes burning into mine. His face hardly able to read. I've never seen him in this state. If I were fearful I would stop, but it is not in my nature. His fists are pushing hard against me, his fingers digging into the leather of my collar. Eyes set on mine.

“Nothing to say again Thor Odinson. Full of wilted pride, I see. Why did you come to visit me? Hmm? To stare into my eyes all night as the mortals break amongst each other. Set on such an army are you I-

“I love you.” Thor interrupted. I stop immediately, letting out a slight gasp. . .

“I beg your-

“I love you.” He states clearly again. “Stop.” He commands. The air has never been so silent. I am literally at a complete loss of words. He outwitted me completely. I make some frantic noises trying to regain control of the situation. However, He lunges towards me again. His lips finding mine. I fight, but his force is too strong. I try to pull away but he bites at my lip when I try. I feel wetness at his cheek. He let a tear roll free. I mean to hark on this moment.

I begin for a word.

“Stop.” He states clearly again. Going in for a much stronger kiss than the first, releasing one hand from my collar and pushing my head in towards his. Pulling strongly at my locks. The feverish nature of the kiss becoming unbearable. My heart is sinking, I'm reaching a low vulnerable level. Our kissing progresses like on the hill. Pulling on armor, our heavy breathing in unison. I tug at his hair. This sets him off in heightened emotion and we sink to the floor. He pushes my leather tunic up, placing his hands all over my skin. I scratch at his bare arms, setting him off into another flurry of kisses and deepening moaning.  
“Loki. . .I can’t . . . Ahhh. . . Unn. . .” Rumbles from a feeble mind losing all control.

Our mouths use to each others touch now, finding it much easier to take off our drapes while embraced. Our capes, used as our surrogate bedding. The green and red intermixed as our bodies intertwine and sing. My breaths short, my eyes set on his. Love me, Kiss me.

He bites hard at my exposed neck as he begins his entrance into me. He not being one for preparation beforehand; and oh pain this pain I cannot describe, the least of all the pain I deserve. I breath sharply letting out a high groan, pushing away with not much luck, at his strengthening force.

“Thor. . .Ahhh. . . gently. . .” I breath into him. Our bodies moving faster against each others poisonous fluster. The pain still sharp with each lap, but the kisses and tears keeping me through, Ah... as he speaks sweet nothings to me. Words Asgardian and foreign to mortal ears.

A push so deep I dig my nails down his back, and bite down on his tounge. He bellows and throws me around, taking complete domination of my hips. All I am able to do in this moment is hold myself on my elbows. My face lost in the cloth and drape of the now floor, red and green. Our hot bodies, of sweet desire. The tingling in our bodies growing. His nordic grunting and groaning, yet soft are his words. All of these sounds that will stay in my heart for years. He grabs a hold of my shoulder with his right hand the other gripping painfully into my hip. My slender frame no match for the muscular overture that is his beautifully toned demi-god psychische. The twitching muscles that spasm with each thrust. 

“Ah..’ I breath hard, ‘I. . .despise you. . . torcherous fool-born. . .” That did it. Hardly able to resist a moment of poison, I'll pay. He stops and flips me back to face him. With strength I’ve never felt.

“You will think wise, when you talk to those who control thy body. A fool-born, how you love your words.” He lifted my legs as far back as he could squeezing my thighs as he pushing himself back inside. A stinging began of both torture and love. My heart beating faster as he embraced my mouth again. Our tongues colliding and breathing as strong as before. I held strong to his hair and neck, moving to his chest as I scream from pain or pleasure its so mixed at this point. Letting my fingers linger in strands and on his luminous skin. My eyes unable to stay open as he commands me to quiet myself. Ah... Thor pleas- Ahh... Loki.. You- ahhh.. The drops of sweat gently moving across us. Like encasement in water, our shining like galaxies combining.

“ I love you.” He said again before kissing my neck. “I’ve always loved you.”

He began a pace that would leave airships jealous of speed. His moaning as loud as his sheiks in battle. His hands exploring me and touching parts of me I never knew could feel with need, and mine gripping tightly at the cloth around; I could not speak, nor say words of provocation. We were eternally living in a moment of pure ecstasy. Bodies are now one. Pushing as hard as he could his hands holding me, piercing me for final moments. Leaving marks and scratches with droplets of red. Until the sweet release that bodies must do in fatigue.

A climax of white light, exemplified by the now hot steamed glass all around, and our now white encasement, like a private heaven. Our clothes in shambles around us as we stayed fixed in our moment. One, Two, Three. Silence.

He began to caress my cheek, the tears flowing on top me.

A drop from above, not of the sky. But of heartfelt innocent feelings in a heart of a man.

Before I could control it, my tears began as well. Of pain, of guilt, of sorrow, I do not know. I do know now, I lay with a man in crying desperation, in vulnerability standing higher than escalation of our site.

“I love you.” This time my words; sending him into harder sobs. We held each other in fear of one of us losing this tender vulnerability. This sentiment. I weep for torment, I weep for arrogance, I weep for this time that will never be allowed again. Most of all I weep for going back. I care not who saw what was enacted. Our time together was our and ours alone. I weep for the moment living in our hearts yet allowed naught to move in progressive direction.

I wish I could say from then on we lived a happy life together. We were made of beauty no one could damage. Yet these are lies. As my life being an eternal unforgivable lie; and as everything, these things must end.

And they did. And so it went on, as we dressed each other, lingering kisses to our cheeks, wiping at streaks of salt on our pale cheeks, watched longingly as the moment ended, and once fully dressed he left out the glass door. Out through the entrance to the chamber, never looking back for a lifetime of harrows.

I love you was the last thing I said and I love you will be the last thing I feel.

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own rights to Marvel Comics or now Disney. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading!


End file.
